“Many plans are in the human heart, but the advice of the LORD will endure.”
PROVERBS 19:21 GW
We all have dreams, goals, aspirations in life that we long to happen. There are also times in life that we are uncertain of our decision makings and how it will affect our future. There are choices in life that awaits for us to make where we often asks “Is this the right one?”, “Am I to choose the best thing?”, “Am I making the right direction?”; “Is this what God really wants for my life?” But the real question is “How do we know if we’re actually choosing the right path that God wants for us?”
Recently, I was faced with the biggest decision of my life whether I should stay in Manila or fly back to Malaysia. Weighing things, both has great things in store for me. I choose flying back to Malaysia as my final decision since I wanted to help church there and grow deeper in my faith & leadership. I did everything I could… find all the ways so that I can stay in KL. Tried applying for my student visa, saved enough money for my school application, bought my ticket back to Malaysia after my holidays in Manila but on the day that I’m about to fly back to KL, things started to shift and to go out of hand. The school wasnt able to notify the immigration that I didn’t get to fly on the day I planned to leave. I decided to fly another day thinking I have another ticket that I can use but the moment I called the airline, they told me my ticket got forfeited. Booking another flight would cost me thousands which I would need to deduct from my school application money. Suddenly, the school informed me that instead of paying the amount of tuition fee in which I have saved money for, they’re asking for double of its price. There was no way for me going back as a student nor as a tourist since the school told me that in order to cancel my visa, again, there’s a fee I would need to pay. I was helpless, thorn and devastated. There wasn’t even a chance for me to say goodbye even for a while. I was not able to go back to Malaysia not because I didn’t want to but because it wasn’t what God intended for me to do all this time. All doors suddenly closed for me.
It took me months to accept all that has happened. I did question God why He allowed such things to take place, and why I need to go all through those pain for me to accept the fact that I’m no longer bound for Malaysia. Thinking about it now somehow still leaves a sting in my heart. But just as Proverbs 19:21 says, we may plan so many things and so many ways for whatever we what to take place happen, but still God plans remain. This verse helped me cope up with my situation.
Thinking about all my struggles with wanting to stay in Malaysia, I’ve sacrificed a lot for this battle, fought everything I can. Everything was self effort, forced and difficult. God may have allowed for it to happen to mold my character and see how far am I willing to go for Him. But what I realized along the way is nothing can prevail against whatever God has destined to happen. I may have forced things to happen but I did not succeed as to what I want to happen because God has something else in mind. We may have wrong turns in our life but God always know how to put us back in the right direction.
After everything I’ve been through these past couple of months, the moment I surrendered to His will and decided to stay in Manila, suddenly, Peace filled my heart knowing God is in control and has the final say. Now that I am currently living my life here in Manila, God’s leading me towards a life where I can totally do what He has called me to do. He is currently using me in my home church in a way I could never have imagined I am capable of doing. There’s a reason why He said No to Malaysia. It may sound painful, but God can always turn our mourning into joy. He knows what’s best and what’s more important. God has something greater in store for my future.
I am forever grateful for the promises that were spoken over my life back when I was in KL. I was told by these great two Pastors of Hope City that God will take me places and He already knows which ones… That future is bound for something great that God is just preparing me during these season. That a day will come, thousands of people will hear God’s amazing love through my life. If it weren’t for those promises, I’d be so lost and defeated right now. God knows when to give us a sense of direction and peace. He knows that there will be a time in our life that we’d make the wrong decision due to our stubbornness but the awesome thing about God is that He is the master of redirecting our path towards what He has destined for us.
Just as Revelations 3:7b said, “When he opens something, it cannot be closed. And when he closes something, it cannot be opened.” God’s plan shall prevail. No one can stop it. No one can bend it. If God promised us a life to the fullest, He will do it and ensure that we live it the way He wanted it to be. He loves us so much that he wont allow us to stay stuck or defeated in a situation or decision that will ruin us. He cares for us so much that He will do whatever it takes to close those doors that will harm us and lead us to doors that brings life, favor, and success.
One thing to know if it is what God wants for us, He adds mo trouble to it, He gives us peace, carries our burden for us and He’d open doors that no man could shut. Therefore, I do believe that God caused all these things in my life for my good even if the enemy meant it for my harm. I know greater things are ahead of me and no one can stop God from making it happen. I’ve trusted Him with my life before and saw the miracles He’s made. That’s why I choose to trust Him now all the more.